pandemic, Rio de Janeiro, suspected covid, a room with flowery walls, a computer and an idea. I had finished high school in December of the previous year, and after a chaotic carnival and a worldwide shutdown there I was back to my personal dilemma: what was I going to do with my life? At 18 years old, you would expect to already know what your next 70 years of life will be like, right? Because that is the decision we are forced to make.

Okay, I had an idea in my head for the past 3 years: to study psychology or IR. I'm good at communication, languages ​​and analysis, it's the right path. But, do I really want this? My family is very different from me, I was raised in an environment where everyone seeks security, stability and routine. Are these my priorities?

Well, after 3 months of studying for the entrance exam, I realized that the answer to all these questions was no. I definitely don't want this. Covid comes and goes, I caught it too. Isolated even from my family, in my room, I went crazy. Until one day, after a marathon series, a live on Instagram and 7 career tests on the internet, something popped into my mind (a way out?). And that was the moment that changed my life.

I locked the bedroom door, sat on the floor, took a deep breath and cleared my mind of all the conceptions and prejudices I might have and I tried to imagine a future 10 years ahead. What would I be doing? Where? With whom? What would I truly like to be producing at that moment? The image that emerged in the darkness of my mind surprised me.

I found myself in a photography studio directing the set of a fashion campaign. Creating. Leading. It was the last thing I could have imagined in my 18 long years of life. And that was it, it gave me pleasure. That was the moment I realized (or accepted) that I need to be creative to feel fulfilled, that I need to work creating, having freedom, building ideas, that's who I am. My creations are part of me and motivate me to get out of bed every day. Now, was that in my comfort zone? No.

I was raised in a completely different context than this, and perhaps because of that, I had never considered living differently, but it was inside me somehow. One of my most fundamental values ​​is to seek my happiness and my purpose. Purpose has always been a very serious issue for me. I couldn't live without being passionate about life, without seeing beauty in it. So, for me, doing something that didn't bring me fulfillment and fulfillment was out of the question. Inertia has always been my fear. Of course, living off fashion in a country like Brazil, being someone born outside this circle, is not the easiest path. Fashion is, and we must recognize this, one of the most exclusionary and elitist scenarios in the world. But for me, it's either this or that.

At the end of the year I started my first job, within a company in the area, which is already well established in the market. I saw the backstage of this industry, the unpleasant part, I saw people who don't think about purpose or value - but about profit, and who step over others to achieve this. And I must say that money is important, it is necessary, it is very good, and it should be taken into consideration, yes, but is it worth living just for it? Because within what I believe, I wanted to live through it, thanks to it, but not for it. Do you understand my point of view? For me, a reason has always been necessary. Money and success are the consequence of a job well done and passionate, in my ideal.

Calafatte emerged in December 2020 in its prototype form, without much planning or investment. For me, Calafatte symbolized the discovery of my purpose, my value, my passion, and I wanted to share this with other people through it. Somehow, I discovered what my truth was and I felt (and feel) the need to tell people about it. It's worth breaking out of your state of inertia, it's worth getting to know yourself and liking what you find, it's worth living a life with passion and some measured risks. Dreams take us somewhere, they have a purpose, nothing is in vain.

This was a complicated year, with many transformations and cycle breaks, but it brought me meaning. Today I see the most confusing phases of life with different eyes, as a preparation for what is to come. Everything has a purpose. And honestly? Fuck it. Be cliché and optimistic. Life is better 4 the people who believe in fairy tales.

with love;

camila.